A while ago I asked a question of the #ActuallyAutistic and #ADHD communities on my old Fosstodon account and got some pretty good feedback, so now that I'm back in my regular fedi home, I figured I'd do so again (as before, boosts welcome).
I find that when something is stressing me out, I'll obsess over it until I've either solved the problem or it overwhelms me to a point where I need to completely disengage (at least for a time). Often when this happens, loved ones will notice my distress and try to help in the form of asking questions or making suggestions. The problem is that if I'm in problem-solving mode it derails my train of thought, and if I'm in "disengage" mode it prevents me from... well, disengaging.
This frequently results in me responding in ways that are... unpleasant for all persons involved. I've identified this as a problem and am trying to find better ways of handling such situations, but it's easier said than done. Has anyone else experienced this? Are there any good strategies for dealing with it?
like this
reshared this
One of my pet peeves: when someone (often an advertiser) says that something is "chemical-free".
What the hell does that even mean?
like this
Me in the morning before my #ADHD meds have kicked in:
Maybe the ninth time I walk into the bathroom I'll remember to put deodorant on.
like this
reshared this
Ep. 319 ISKCON and other spiritual groups - Episode 150 Remastered
In this remastered episode I chat with someone who has experienced The International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Michael gives a deep dive into many typeSpreaker
Our local grocery store has a program where you can get a box of assorted discounted produce so long as you're not picky about what's in it. Katy and I had been meaning to try this out for a while, and it's been a pretty good experience so far. We're both creatures of habit, especially where food is concerned, and finding new recipes to figure out how to use the stuff we normally don't have has been rather enjoyable on the whole.
If keeping your grocery bill low is something you're trying to do, I recommend seeing if your local grocer has such a program.
like this
Justin To #НетВойне reshared this.
Outage Recovery
The machine that this node was running on failed on 2 Jul 2024. A new machine has been acquired and a restore from backup was performed. It'll probably take a couple days for the database to settle as it re-synchronizes with the rest of the network.
Edit: grammar (proofreading fail)
reshared this
I have a cheap multimeter because I do not require one frequently enough to invest in a decent one. I noticed something interesting though: there are a lot of seemingly metallic things in my apartment that are surprisingly good insulators? (e.g.: a (brass?) doorknob)
I thought the multimeter was the problem, but when I measure something like a wire, it seems to be okay. Is this normal?
I'll have to check if I have any spare resistors with known values laying around to better test the meter.
@𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕒 🏳️⚧️🦋 I thought maybe it was some sort of protective coating, but this makes more sense. I also found this potential explanation: techiescientist.com/does-brass…
Perhaps a combination of factors.
This is why gold is used in electronics so much. Copper may be a much better conductor than gold, but copper has surface oxidation that can get bad, while a thin plating of gold is... golden!
Aluminum oxidizes within seconds after scraping a fresh layer and why it's so difficult to work with
Jonathan Lamothe likes this.
Ep. 318 Dead, Insane or in Jail - Troubled Teen Industry. Episode 147 Remastered
In today's remastered episode, I have a special interview with author Zack Bonnie who has written 2 books about his time at CEDU and Rocky Mountain Academy. ZacSpreaker
Ep. 317 Ramtha's School of Enlightenment - A Daughter's Story Part 2 Episode 144 Remastered
In this remastered episode I chat at length with Alexandra who grew close to a family friend before deciding to follow him out of state and into the clasp of aSpreaker
Ep. 317 Ramtha's School of Enlightenment - A Daughter's Story Part 1 Episode 144 Remastered
In this remastered episode I chat at length with Alexandra who grew close to a family friend before deciding to follow him out of state and into the clasp of aSpreaker
Kevin Davy
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •Sensitive content
Jonathan Lamothe
in reply to Kevin Davy • •@Kevin Davy My partner and I have been through a lot together. We've gotten good at talking things out. It was actually with her help that I was able to work out more precisely why I was getting so seemingly irrationally upset.
Now I'm just working out what to do about it.
Kevin Davy
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •Sensitive content
Zoi und Einhorn
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •Sensitive content
F4GRX Sébastien
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •Sensitive content
Cali Spera
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •Sensitive content
I have no solutions
The idea would be if your loved ones were aware of what adhd is
I can say that I disengage too
And it's not negotiable
you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •Sensitive content
you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a
in reply to you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a • • •Sensitive content
you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a
in reply to you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a • • •Sensitive content
Jonathan Lamothe
in reply to you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a • •@loose cannon I hadn't considered that, nor in fact did I realize it was a thing to consider.
The most recent example was when this server failed. It's actually what prompted me to start asking. In addition to being a fedi server, it also runs a bunch of other services I depend on: calendar, file synchronization, contacts, to-do list, etc. All stuff I use to make navigating everyday life possible. Took me four days to fix (should've taken two, but I had to keep taking mental health breaks).
This was an extreme example, but it usually happens when something disrupts my regular routine, like losing my phone or keys.
Jonathan Lamothe
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • •you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •Sensitive content
Home is a very specific environment. The need for home is the need to have things comfortably under control.
For you this means fixing disruptions as they arise. For some people else it can mean maintaining continuity in the face of any disruption, etc. In principle, I can see their point - after all, the truly tragic things in life are the ones that *can't* be fixed even by exuberant effort.
you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a
in reply to you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a • • •Sensitive content
But let's say there's an important logistical disruption that needs fixing, that is completely up to you, and someone comes along to disrupts that while ostensibly trying to help? Yeah that can be pretty annoying.
Sometimes people perform "trying to help" as a form of commiseration, because they need to signal that even if they can't find the keys or fix the server, they are there for you and can help with other things.
you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a
in reply to you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a • • •Sensitive content
you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a
in reply to you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a • • •Sensitive content
Jonathan Lamothe
in reply to you╭👺+300╭🐈x5╭⁂+3╭(Ⓐ+a • •Shae Erisson
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •Sensitive content
Digit
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •alas, the people i used to call my parents, dont get this AT ALL,
psychopathic narcissistic mother, is my current best-fit theory, in absence of sense of distress in others, absence of concern for dire consequences, absence of introspection and in introspection's place is projecting...
tries to help sounds good... if only it were real and competent and attentive to the real needs, not the imagined one-size-fits-all inconveniences and harms.
even as i was being pushed into deepening burnout and suffering so immensely, i envied gregor samsa's lot, and they still persisted...
yeah.
orion kelly's vids have been helping me the most with that.
youtube.com/@orionkelly/videos
"... all about validation for people with autism and their loved ones" or however he puts it.
Orion Kelly - That Autistic Guy
YouTube