oof. being Conventionally Attractive must be like being the Gifted Kid. you have "so much potential" to live up to some generic-ass mainstream expectations!

but nobody ever tells you how to live up to those expectations (god damn what a perfect metaphor in that dream) and living up to your own desires is never considered an option.

🫂

You are appreciated,
You are seen,
You are worthy of love,
You are kind,
You are funny,
You are smart,
You share your knowledge and quips freely,
You give so much of yourself,
You have created and foster a community - a home for many that may not have one otherwise,
You are this and so, so much more

You are loved for who you are without any kind of toll requirement to be met. It is your heart and mind that did all these and so much more

I don’t meet many people who have such a strong personal ethos and practice what they preach.

None of us are perfect. We are all a work in progres.
I know for me personally;
The world is by far and Fedi are a much better place with you in it. Haters going to hate.

a lot of is apparently had anxiety dreams overnight.

Mine woke up into an Anxiery attack.

I posted about it here.

On my walk the meaning of the dream became obvious.

The last of the anxiety dissolved away.

You’ll be ok if you aren’t already.

Wondering why though so many of us had these dreams overnight

My (uneducated) view on dreams is that a lot of the time they're not an indicator that something is wrong, but more of an indicator of anxiety that something is wrong. But then most of my life rn is characterized by anxiety. ymmv.

Smart people are the most attractive people, imo, and people who don't rate intelligence are the least attractive. But that's me, and I'm mostly asexual.

May I remind you that the vast majority of us has never seen your full face? Those of us who call you pretty on the internet mostly extrapolate from your taste and style. You'll keep those all your life even if (not when!) nature takes away your pretty face and smooth skin.

People might not call you "hot" anymore when you're 80 but they'll for sure say "damn, I wish I'll look like that when I get to your age", pointing at one of the coolest outfits ever seen on a retiree.

Thank you for sharing this. Gonna sit with and reflect on it.

Edit: Yeah, wow. Considering more of how society hits us each individually is a lot. Those insidious little ways we get poked at and worn down to be more easily exploited for what we have to offer. It's so upsetting and so exhausting.

Agreed. A lot of people just get told to not even try unless you do/are perfect at it from the first go.

Which is just bonkers. You do not have to be the best, you can be quite horrible at something - as long as you learn or have fun. I am horrible at singing, but that won't stop me from humming or singing along.

And making mistakes is how you learn. You didn't fail, you found a method that didn't work. Attempt again with new information and insight.

And if all fails, you still succeeded. You learned something, you had fun. You grew as a person.

The amount of quips we can share are precisely because of us just trying things. Even the things that didn't work out, perhaps especially those, have value. Sometimes as a little story, others as a life lesson.

Don't be scared of trying something (new) or not being the best at it.

Everyone likes an old person with lots of funny stories. So start making them 😀

@autisticplushy Same, especially when papers are generally reviewed by people who have no fucking clue of what you look like. (Ideally, double blind review means they don't even know your name, and reciprocally, but apparently that was not the case for your paper).

Also, I had no clue you had some academic papers. Did you get a PhD out of that ?

And sending hugs !

Initially I tried to find a different word but gave up.

So congratulations, the guy from a country where our generation has at least a minor chance to retire before we drop dead has just become your oracle for a prosperous future. I'll collect my commission in a couple of decades.

Anxiety dreams suck. Depression dreams also. They can really fuck up your day/week or whole outlook for sometime, how they weigh upon you when you wake.

I really don't think you lack substance in any way. In fact you are quite substantial, occupying the entire 3-dimensional space in which you inhabit. 🙃

#MemtalHealth

The human mind can behave in some odd ways. Here's Professor Bergman in Space:1999 talking about humans and their brain potential.

Any dreams with negativity should always be consigned to the trash heap.

You are beautiful, kind, loving and considerate. We need more people to be like you.

As Carla said in Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter said, "Beauty fades eventually, but a kind soul remains forever."

"dreams are my brain's equivalent of DOS6 running defrag”

I absolutely love this description. I miss watching defrag! 😛

@Aprazeth

Enjoying things has gotten so much easier for me since I have children. They just love everything as long as it's joyful. I sing for them, I tell them stories, I act out funny monsters, I draw everything they want drawn ... And at some of that I'm "good", at some of that I'm not. And it's so much fun!

(I mean, sometimes I'm tired and it feels more work than fun, but generally.)

A saying comes to mind: "A rising tide raises all ships."

The game for me would be Deep Rock Galactic, where I do similar stuff at times. Its just more fun that way. Heck, I think most of my Steam contacts are people adding me for that reason 😀

I honestly can't understand, nor would I want to, why some people feel that need to put others down, or to go through the same hardships in life. Why would you want anyone else to suffer like you did? Baffling

lol, there's nothing wrong with fishing for compliments - sometimes we all just need some on-demand support. I personally need compliments delivered multiple times a day within sub-second windows.

I don't know you well, but you seem pretty cool to me. Love the avatar!

I may require the same service in the future.

@Aprazeth Excellent advice. It is all in how you score it right? Too often we define "win" and "lose" in terms we can't meet. But learning is a "win" always, and nobody can make you "not learn." Alysa Liu is such an inspiration in this regard.

@alice

I just like you for who you are. I'm pretty simple like that. ​

Also that DOS reference ​

I woke myself up the other night with a stress dream about... getting enough sleep!

In the dream I was stressing about getting scheduled for something very early the following morning. It was late and I was having zero luck falling asleep. Needless to say, this particular dream was triggered by roughly those actual circumstances and the dream was effectively a self fulfilling prophecy. 🫩

Thanks brain, that was super helpful.

@aly I don’t understand people who wouldn’t find that fascinating.

(I didn’t realize you were a *professional* lockpicker — do you do pen testing, or is it part of something else?)

🫂🫂🫂

I dislike your ex a bit more everytime I read about them 🤐 (even when I already knew about what I read)

For what it's worth, while I think you look great and would be glad if you agree to a hug should we ever meet, I don't want to fuck you, and still think you are one of the most interesting and kind persons I know

> if I'm using you for your body, I'm doing a really bad job of it

🤭
Although, maybe they want a cuddleable heat source in their bed, in which case they did a great job 😇😛

> I was the pretty one with no substance.

Your brain is lying! You are pretty *and* have substance! 🫂

> they were a decade low, but 💁🏼‍♀️

I can't fault them for that, I keep doing that to people of Fedi 🙈 (I still can't believe some people I saw pictures of are over 40, I'm so bad at guessing ages x_x (please, don't tell me you are over 40 as well 😛))

> they did take me aside to tell me I was "very pretty" while I was in the kitchen.

Talking only about themself and being bitter because you're on your phone instead of waiting for them to talk is one thing (still not ok) but this is so gross 🤢

I hope that's not someone you'll have to see often 🫂

And I hope you'll have better dreams tonight 🤞

@irene

It is. Imagine what amounts of stress they would have to go through for all of the preparation, training, traveling, and competing while also still growing up, and (attempting at) following an education. And yes, most universities etc have programs aimed at helping these students. Still...

In case it helps, I think you are full of substance. Being pretty doesn't take away from that.

I have a history of issues too (e.g. I still struggle to feel safe around people). It takes a while to learn how to be vulnerable, and takes a while to see oneself as others do.

For the record, I've met you in person and can testify that you are safe and comfortable to be around. And can assert that people like you for many different reasons.

*stamps certificate with Kat paw*

I don't follow you because you're pretty. I follow you because you're interesting, and post and share cool things on the regular. Plus you seem kind and caring. I'd say your plan B is working out just fine. 😀. Keep it up.

And it's totally ok to feel anxiety, just try no to let it have power over you. Most people feel anxiety, and it can control you if you let it. (My anxiety and I have had regular fights... I win some lose some.)