I'm not "liking" ⭐ this because I actually don't like it. I hate it. But other than that...

I'm right there with you, sibling! This is *exactly* how I've been feeling about the dearth of Black folks on here for years. I want to help, but I know how I look, and I know it means I look untrustworthy. And I don't blame Black people for that.

Anyway, 100% co-signed.

I see people talking about racism and other bigotry on Fedi, and I believe them, but I've somehow completely avoided it. A big ol' chunk of my feed is _entirely coincidentally_ retrocomputing enthusiasts who happen to be furries, or queer. or trans, or otherwise non-neurotypical, but they mostly just talk about old computers and have been blessed to not be hassled on here.

I believe them, and I'm also glad to have avoided seeing them get that kind of abuse, if you see what I mean. Anyway, I'm sorry they (and you) have to deal with that crap.

I have many of the same worries - but not limited to that group. I grew up in Scandinavia with everyone being white, cis and straight. We had one gay dude and two adopted Asians in the entire community *.

My racism and blindness to it is ingrained from childhood and something I have to actively combat - and I fear, I fail all too often.

*I later learned another story, but that was how it felt back then and how it was -told-.

@FinalGirl

Likewise, and I hope I am Type 3 too and sometimes worry that I am anything but. With my oldest friend being a Muslim whose family comes from Kashmir, and was also my Best Person at my Wedding, hopefully I am at least part of the way there.

@FinalGirl

I should clarify before more white folx hop in: this isn't about us.

This is about the difficulties around bridging connections between historically disadvantaged communities and the outside—even bridges to other disadvantaged communities. There's always a risk involved when you open your community or self to someone who might be unsafe, and it can be hard to know how safe someone is until you've opened up to them and *not* been burned for long enough to be convinced.

So, on that note, I've been noisy enough. I'm going to be quiet* and try listening now.

*at least in this thread. I'll still be noisy as fuck elsewhere 😊

@FinalGirl

I wonder how much of the invisibility of harassment comes from federation/decentralization.

I will often see someone complaining about the replies to their post and think "but all of these seem fine" before clicking through to the home instance and seeing the ones that did not get federated over to my instance.

I know there was some work recently to fix the "get all replies to this post" code and I wonder if it's changed anything there

I feel like there's another likely element at play for Fedi too. Plenty of us here are marginalized ourselves whether it be because of our sexuality, gender identity, religion or lack-there-of, and/or disability status.

As a result, a lot of us are in a position where we have the privilege of being white, abled or abled passing, and have given up some of our privilege in order to be who we are.

Plenty of us come from bigoted upbringings. Arguably, I would say that any white person has come from a bigoted upbringing whether it be obvious or not. I'm from Mississippi and from a part of it that is overwhelmingly black. So in my case you'd have to actually be trying to miss it instead of being allowed the freedom of ignorance that comes from being raised in a whitetopia where you could live you whole life and never see a person of color more times than you could count on one hand.

As a result, when we move from privilege to being more marginalized, I think a lot of us look at that and think that makes us the minority whisperer that can relate to anyone of marginalized status. A lot of us don't do the work and as a result we have problematic behaviors and because we're also marginalized we don't listen and learn as we should in order to be able to do that work.

I am one of a small minority of white people in the US who will know what it's like to go to school with people who don't look like you, to have had mentors who don't look like you, and to have authority figures in local government who do not look like you. I understand why black people have to code switch because I have actually had to code switch in my life. People accept you better if you engage with them in a way that they recognize and feel comfortable with.

All that said, I cannot speak for black people. I can talk about a minority experience because I am a minority, but only for the specific minorities I am a part of. I may have a fraction of an experience that's in common with the black experience but that's from the other side of things and due to whiteness, people who have had experiences like mine can use those experiences to further justify the bigotry they were raised on.

There are a bunch of us who are supportive on paper, have some means of relating, and will then talk over black people anyway because we think our marginalization makes us special.