I have a messenger bag that I typically carry around with me. Sometimes things go in there and I forget about them.
Katy was looking for something and discovered that for some reason I had put our marriage certificate in there. The last time I needed the physical certificate was years ago, so it must've been sitting in there and I've just been carrying it around with me unknowingly for quite some time.
I imagine I should probably find a better place for it.
I should probably also go through it to see what else I've put in there and forgotten about.
In what may be the first time in the history of the world that anyone has done this, I just managed to use super glue without getting any on my fingers.
Remastered:
Trapped In Treatment is a new docu-style podcast series from Paris Hilton & Warner Bros. Unscripted TV in Association With Telepictures, and iHe
I've stated before that I'm not the CW police and I'm not going to dictate how others should use them, but if you're looking for a general guideline on when you might consider using them, this seems a reasonable guide:
I find that hlint is a great tool for pointing out where your code can be improved, but sometimes its suggestions are... interesting. Case in point, it just recommended changing
map (\(a, b) -> {- ...stuff... -}) $ zip as bs
to
zipWith (curry (\(a, b) -> {- ...stuff... -})) as bs
In this remastered episode I chat with someone who has experienced The International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Michael gives a deep dive into many type
PSA: If you are in a group and there exists one or more individuals within that group who must not be criticized under any circumstance, you are in a cult.
I would worry an "update" might be an anti-root patch to prevent owners from adding features and higher sampling rates found in much more expensive models
@Spacegoat From what I overheard it sounds like it was a drug bust. They hauled the driver away and eventually towed the car after a bunch of them turned it inside out.
We have to order @Benny's food from the vet because he's on a prescription diet. Tried using their on-line ordering option. We ordered his food a week ago. It just arrived this morning.
@wing Been meaning to give Jellyfin a go ever since you and Hex mentioned it. Finally got around to it. You'll be happy to know that the first video I tested it with was, in fact, Big Buck Bunny.
Can anyone in Waterloo region recommend a place (such as a coffee shop) where one can just sit down with a book for a while? I don't mind if I have to buy a coffee or something. Just looking for a change of scenery.
There's always the library, but the nearest one to me is in a high school, and I feel weird about loitering around there.
A while ago I asked a question of the #ActuallyAutistic and #ADHD communities on my old Fosstodon account and got some pretty good feedback, so now that I'm back in my regular fedi home, I figured I'd do so again (as before, boosts welcome).
I find that when something is stressing me out, I'll obsess over it until I've either solved the problem or it overwhelms me to a point where I need to completely disengage (at least for a time). Often when this happens, loved ones will notice my distress and try to help in the form of asking questions or making suggestions. The problem is that if I'm in problem-solving mode it derails my train of thought, and if I'm in "disengage" mode it prevents me from... well, disengaging.
This frequently results in me responding in ways that are... unpleasant for all persons involved. I've identified this as a problem and am trying to find better ways of handling such situations, but it's easier said than done. Has anyone else experienced this? Are there any good strategies for dealing with it?
@Kevin Davy My partner and I have been through a lot together. We've gotten good at talking things out. It was actually with her help that I was able to work out more precisely why I was getting so seemingly irrationally upset.
Is it possible to talk to your loved ones in a moment you’re not stressed and tell them about how you feel? I guess they feel helpless if they can’t do anything but maybe they are able to understand what you need in those moments is validation and understanding and not suggestions and solutions? I’m sometimes telling my people in those moments I only need comfort, not solutions and it seems to work so far.
Is there a particular relational or sensory context that makes it more likely to respond in this way, besides what you've described in the post? Is it more often a reaction to a specific person's trying to help or is that also how you feel when something inter
rupts you while your are by yourself or among strangers? Other than factual mental states (e.g. "don't they see I'm trying to think/relax here"), what might it be that the other person is seeing and you are trying to ignore (and vice versa)?
@loose cannon I hadn't considered that, nor in fact did I realize it was a thing to consider.
The most recent example was when this server failed. It's actually what prompted me to start asking. In addition to being a fedi server, it also runs a bunch of other services I depend on: calendar, file synchronization, contacts, to-do list, etc. All stuff I use to make navigating everyday life possible. Took me four days to fix (should've taken two, but I had to keep taking mental health breaks).
This was an extreme example, but it usually happens when something disrupts my regular routine, like losing my phone or keys.
@loose cannon further answer to your question. Fortunately, it usually happens at home, partly because that's where I just usually am in general, and because that's where 99% of my routines that can be disrupted exist.
Home is a very specific environment. The need for home is the need to have things comfortably under control.
For you this means fixing disruptions as they arise. For some people else it can mean maintaining continuity in the face of any disruption, etc. In principle, I can see their point - after all, the truly tragic things in life are the ones that *can't* be fixed even by exuberant effort.
But let's say there's an important logistical disruption that needs fixing, that is completely up to you, and someone comes along to disrupts that while ostensibly trying to help? Yeah that can be pretty annoying.
Sometimes people perform "trying to help" as a form of commiseration, because they need to signal that even if they can't find the keys or fix the server, they are there for you and can help with other things.
You gotta be like "nah I've got this" in return for their sympathy, no matter how uncomfortable the ongoing disruptions make you feel. Otherwise you risk coming across as doubting their sincere desire to help. And then all their anxieties come out of the woodwork, causing them to prompt you with increasingly inane (from your pov) and disrupting stimuli until your reaction (or lack of one) stabilizes their self-image
If the disrupting party is reasonable and well-intentioned, I believe it is right to expect that being mindful of your states, once made aware of them, should cost them no great effort. Should be possible to casually talk out
I find that when something is stressing me out, I’ll obsess over it until I’ve either solved the problem...
alas, the people i used to call my parents, dont get this AT ALL,
loved ones will notice my distress and try to help
psychopathic narcissistic mother, is my current best-fit theory, in absence of sense of distress in others, absence of concern for dire consequences, absence of introspection and in introspection's place is projecting...
tries to help sounds good... if only it were real and competent and attentive to the real needs, not the imagined one-size-fits-all inconveniences and harms.
even as i was being pushed into deepening burnout and suffering so immensely, i envied gregor samsa's lot, and they still persisted...
This frequently results in me responding in ways that are… unpleasant for all persons involved. I’ve identified this as a problem and am trying to find better ways of handling such situations, but it’s easier said than done. Has anyone else experienced this? Are there any good strategies for dealing with it?
I'm Orion Kelly - That Autistic Guy, and I’m all about providing validation and support for Autistic people and their loved ones. For more visit www.orionkelly.com.au
Khurram Wadee
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uoou (moved to @uoou@mas.to)
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