I've been agonizing over posting this for like 46 minutes now. It started as a reply to one of @FinalGirl's posts (as we're mutuals and her posts give me a glimpse into a side of Mastodon that I don't normally get to see).
So, the meat of what I want to say is that I'd love to have more Black folx in my day-to-day life. There's so much shit that I'm just not privy to because my circles are hella white...and that's fucked up.
At least on Fedi I get to hear about some of the issues the Black community faces, but I also feel like I can't do much other than *try* not to be one of the problematic white folx while boosting Black voices into my circles.
Why the agonizing? Because I know about the three types of Queer Allyβ’, and I assume Black folx deal with something similar.
- Type 1 is "okay with you being queer", but will probably vote against you if it lowers the price of eggs.
- Type 2 puts up a "love is love" sign and congratulates themselves on being such a good allyβthey might even know some queer folx.
- Type 3 has queer friends and family because it's a normal thing to have, supports them like they would anyone they really cared about, and listens to queer voices in their lives when they say there are problems. They may not always "get it", but they actively try.
The problem is that the ratio of the three is like 100:10:1 (if I'm being *really* generous).
I want to be that third type. I worry that I'm that second type. But I know it's safest for Black folx to assume I'm the first type (or worse) because that's just how the numbers workβespecially when the cost of misplaced trust is much higher than the benefit of a potential friend.
Valerie Roney
in reply to Valerie Roney • • •We're stronger when we work together. πͺ
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Moss the Bard π¨π¦π§π§π²π½π¬π±
in reply to Valerie Roney • • •Valerie Roney
in reply to Moss the Bard π¨π¦π§π§π²π½π¬π± • • •"why can't things just go smooth?"
And I was all "me too, boo."
SusannaAuthor Old White Hippie
in reply to Valerie Roney • • •Valerie Roney
in reply to SusannaAuthor Old White Hippie • • •bovaz
in reply to Valerie Roney • • •Valerie Roney
in reply to bovaz • • •John Sexton
in reply to Valerie Roney • • •Valerie Roney
in reply to John Sexton • • •John Sexton
in reply to Valerie Roney • • •Valerie Roney
in reply to John Sexton • • •@diverdutch I am going to try and say this gently because I know your intention is kind:
Please keep in mind context, I am profoundly not ok, and have massive cognitive problems that limit my ability to chase down leads like this. In fact the role I am trying to hire would be to follow through on leads like this BECAUSE I CAN'T. And that is both terrifying and infuriating.
Getting unsolicited advice on how to solve it, instead of actual help is deeply painful. So pls don't.
Larry
in reply to Valerie Roney • • •Have you had contact with the Community Living Association, the Acquired Brain Injury clinic at St Joseph's Hospital, or the Community Resource Centre? Are you good for phone conversations?
Valerie Roney
in reply to Larry • • •@quoidian @diverdutch I am going to point you back to the toot you replied to, where I tried to gently say how frustrating unsolicited advice is in my circumstances.
I don't need suggestions of other orgs to try, I have six orgs I am working with already. It's confusing and exhausting.
I am looking to hire a human for the things listed on the original post.
Thanks you for understanding.
Larry
in reply to Valerie Roney • • •No problem. Those were groups that had social workers with exposure to helpers, and possibly able to suggest candidates in the Guelph area. Good luck in your search.
Valerie Roney
in reply to Larry • • •