@actuallyautistic
A couple of posts today made me think about the connection between masking and imposter syndrome, especially for those of us who have realised late that we are autistic. I have long believed that there are essentially two aspects to the way that we masked. Masking ourselves from the world and masking ourselves from ourselves and that both of these contributed to being able to stay below the radar of realising what we were for so long. But, perhaps, the most important one, was not the face we showed the world, mostly because I doubt if that was ever as good as we thought it was, but the mirror we learnt to see ourselves in.
That internal masking of ourselves can take many forms.
I thought it was just me.
But, everyone does it this way.
No one else is bothered, or even seems to be noticing. I must be just imagining it, or too sensitive. It can't be real.
I've tried talking about it, but no one took me seriously, they thought I was joking. It's obviously just me. I really must be broken, or mad.
I can't see myself anywhere, I can't be right.
I can't be this way, no one else is.
I must be wrong.
And so much else...
So much of it is denial and disbelieve, as much as anything, and it doesn't go away once we begin to realise the truth. It doesn't magically lose its power. It has to be faced and defeated as a deliberate act of de-masking, that, perhaps, never really ends, because we've carried and tended to it for too long. And, all the time, it is a voice of doubt and so-called reason in our minds that can fuel our imposter syndrome. That can make us doubt our journey, our revelations, our truth. Because that was always its job. It is the reason we created it. To mask ourselves from the truth. Because, it wasn't the truth we saw, or were able to accept.
This isn't to say, by any means, that it is the only bone our imposter syndrome will chew on. But, for those of us who are late realising our truth, it is perhaps a particularly meaty one. Because it has been with us for so long, our only answer to the darkness we lived in and the only world we could see.
#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic
Jerry on Friendica
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •The link you've given for hairylarry is not a valid link.
I can't reach gamerplus.org/@9fx1gafdg6yhzi6l, your shared link, because it's looking for a user named 9fx1gafdg6yhzi6l instead of "hairylarry"
But I can reach gamerplus.org/@hairylarry
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screwlisp
in reply to Jerry on Friendica • • •Search
Paste without spaces: https ://gamerplus.org/@ hairylarry
Whatever your instance returns is your instance's version of that link.
@jerry @helpers @hairylarry
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Jonathan Lamothe
in reply to screwlisp • •like this
screwlisp and there is beauty in simplicity like this.
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hairylarry
in reply to Jonathan Lamothe • • •@jerry
What can I say. I'm good at what I do.
Actually, I have no clue. One thing I have noticed about gamerplus.org
When I want to make an external link to a post, first I click on the post and I get something that looks like
gamerplus.org/deck/@me@social.…
Which might not work. But if I take /deck out
gamerplus.org/@me@social.jlamo…
It works.
Let me know if either or both of these work for you.
Thanks
#fediverse #weirdness
Jonathan Lamothe
2025-08-14 02:17:26
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hairylarry
in reply to hairylarry • • •@jerry
They actually both worked for me but with a different look. Without /deck the post was large and in the center. With /deck it was in the right column.
???
Who knows ???