I am having a painful day.
Would you kind folks, in the next 24 hours or so, tag me on a post you make about the last moment (or much longer?) you had or saw some #TransJoy ? Or #NBJoy ? Or #AgenderJoy ? Now you see why I'm asking? Too many possible sources. #BlackJoy or #DisabledJoy or #DeafJoy or so many others.
If you've a marginalised identity and found joy recently, tell me what it was. Don't be afraid to say it was about discomfiting your oppressor. Speak your joy. Doesn't matter if I share an identity with your oppressor, I don't do defensive. If I've done what you say, I'll apologise and/or accept responsibility for my failures and misdeeds and privilege. If I haven't, then I will share your victory joy, bc any oppressor is too many.
I just want to hear what's bringing you joy in an identity important to you?
Thread RULE: if it isn't about you, don't make it about you. You need to defend yourself for some reason? This is neither time nor place. Joy only. You wanna hurt someone? Not here. This is a braver space than that.
What's your joy, if you want to share?
Jonathan Lamothe reshared this.



Moriel 🏳️⚧️
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •How about some joy that is coming up soon? June 12 will be the 30th anniversary of getting my name changed and I'm really looking forward to celebrating that day. It feels really good to know that I've made it this far!
#TransJoy
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Moriel 🏳️⚧️ • • •@moriel
Oh, that's wonderful! My next round-numbered anniversary would be 40, in 6 years.
2032 feels like a position I wouldn't take in a futures market. 🥴
Bernie Luckily Does It
in reply to Moriel 🏳️⚧️ • • •Xauri'EL Zwaan
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Cait the Proud Trans Woman reshared this.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Xauri'EL Zwaan • • •@XauriEL
Oh, I love that! Genderqueer people are some of my most-fun friends. One changes zir gender every day to something entirely new to zem. It's fantastic. I hope you keep finding things to be joyful about. 😍
Alicja
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •I had a girls' afternoon with a bunch of girls and they fully embraced me being openly and vocally trans without ever making me feel the slightest bit out of place for being the only non-cis one.
I count it as #TransJoy because I'm different and I still belong. I *am* the same as the cis girls without pretending I'm *made* the same way. And they were all about letting me feel that way. Differing but not being something abnormal.
I'm struggling to phrase what I mean but hopefully it comes across between the lines.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Alicja • • •@oddtail
Oh, that made me cry a little. Yes, it definitely counts, absolutely, thank you, Alicja. That sounds wonderful. I'm super glad you had that experience, and I hope you keep getting it. 😀
Amgine
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Yesterday, in the laundromat, with a pair of #knitting needles.
I have a few largish floor rugs, too large for a home washing machine, not large enough (or valuable enough) to call in a steam cleaner, so I occasionally bring them to a laundromat with big machines.
And while they're washing, I knit. In this case, a gorgeous half-circle lace shawl in a hand-dyed silk & mohair thread.
Quadruple takes from some of the clientele.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman reshared this.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Amgine • • •@Amgine
Oh, that sounds magnificent! You must be very talented. Thank you for sharing your joy! I love it. 😀
Amgine
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •It is likely a failing in me, but being secretly triumphant when someone walks into furniture because they can't figure out where you fit in their worldview is a joy.
Old, NB, and Bi normally means I am so invisible I can't get the bill even when waving money in the air.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman reshared this.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Amgine • • •@Amgine
A failing? It's a SUPER POWER! I love it.
"Distraction Person! Help me! That man stole my purse!"
"Which man?"
"That one near the tree!"
"I see him. Wait here."
:runs off to get ahead of the man, stopping ahead of him:
He walks into a tree, drops the purse, and wanders away confused.
"There you are ma'am, all safe and sound."
"Oh, thank you Distraction Person! But my pronouns are he/him, I just haven't really gotten around to transitioning much yet. So maybe 'sir' next time?"
You laugh quietly at yourself, apologise, and tip a salute to him, before leaping into the air and disappearing into the sky...
Cetraria
in reply to Amgine • • •Ahimsa
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •A friend and I (we're both disabled by chronic illness) were able to visit the Crystal Springs Rhododendren Gardens last week. It's rare when we're both well enough to do something together.
No photos, but it was lovely! So many flowering trees/plants!
csrgpdx.org/
My husband and I have an annual pass but for certain groups (eg, folks on SNAP EBT) the garden has "pay what you wish" admission:
csrgpdx.org/community-access-p…
#DisabledJoy #PDX #Portland #Gardens
Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden
Crystal Springs Rhododendron GardenCait the Proud Trans Woman reshared this.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Ahimsa • • •@ahimsa_pdx
That's fantastic! What a great joy to experience. My trans boyfriend and I have the same issues - finding a time when we both are spoonful enough to get to a function can be tricky. But I wouldn't trade him for anyone, and I love when it *does* work out, and we get to do something we both love together. 😀
Thanks for sharing!
Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •I'll try in english for those here who want to read it without knowing french language. Beware of my mistakes in grammar en voc (it is okay to correct me. I'll ask for it, it can make me progress)
To understand the following very big text :
I am a trans man, non binary (agender)
But if I am out as trans with a very few IRL people, none of them know about my Non-binarity.
Or they know about nothing (just I am a man "like them" in their point of view)
Or they know I am a trans man, nothing more.
My joy start with some negative thoughts: since autumn 2015 about, my "Roommate" and I are isolated from queer association or queer community.
For us, it is only here, online and it is far far far from beeing enough. (But it's better than nothing, thabk you all for being here. Really.)
And I think I lost my "transness"
I mean, we are still aware to be trans, but, I, I spoke only for me, not for her, I forget often that I am trans
I forget I am a man, for people around us.
I forget I am not "supposed" to be a little girl when younger
I forget that part of my identity
It is a very complicated state because, I know, I am aware to be careful to not speak about me as "when I was a little girl"
And, in the same time, I no longer feel being trans. I don't know if it means something.
We are very very isolated. We love where we live but : lonely (about queerness)
1/ ?
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur • • •@poupou24_
Oh, my friend. I'm sorry, that sounds really hard. I lived without trans community until October 22, for various reasons. It was so hard and isolating. The change since then...so, so huge.
I can't wait for the joy to come, though. 😀
Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur
in reply to Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur • • •--
Sometimes, people like you, on the internet ask us about something about us, about that thing that make us trans, or queer (and same sometimes about disabilities or other stuff like that)
Sometimes I read the comments/answers because I am mentally okay to appreciate others' joy
And that reminds me that I am "like them", those who answers to you, or to the people like you that ask that kind of questions
I started my questions about my identity in 2014, middle of the year. April-may 2014.
So 12 years ago and a month
I have forgot all about this
I started my first coming out May 17th 2014 (yes, the questions-quest was very quick)
So exactly 12 years ago
I remember each brutal words my mom told me after that, and all the consequences that followed it.
I remember the second coming-out, 25th january 2015, and I remember only a part of the consequences of it.
I started my HRT on February 2015
So 11 years ago and 3 months
I remember the first injection. Nothing much more.
I had the privilege to have my top surgery on November 2015 (in a time when only 2 surgeons were safe in France)
So 10 years ago and half
I remember a part of it (thank to my blog site I wrote at this time)
And I change my name officially in early 2017 I think or 2018 ? (I lost a lot of my memory because of a medication)
So about 9 years or 8 years ago.
I don't remember much
2/ ?
Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur
in reply to Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur • • •--
It is hard to realise all the things I did to become what and who I am
It is hard to understand how did I do all of this.
I mean, I am afraid, nowadays, to do a little surgery. How could I get a top surgery ? It is a big surgery.
I am so exhausted about administrative stuff. How did I do all the stuff to change my name and gender on paper ??
To do the "normal admin stuff" when my face didn't match with my girly former name ?
I am so exhausted about everything in life (mostly because disabled).
How did I do all the identity quests ?
How did I survive the second puberty ? (When the first was a nightmare)
How did I survive against my "family's" queerphobia TWO TIME (and the last one during the whole 8 years) ?
Where did I found the strength and bravery (courage?) to tell my parents I no longer want them in my life ?
I don't know, I don't remember all of this BUT I know this is me. I know I did this
I was not alone each time, my "roommate" was here each fucking second of all the steps I made. Sometime I had friends. Many times we were alone.
But I know it was my body, my mind, my questions, my identity
3/?
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur • • •@poupou24_
(listens quietly, sitting near you for comfort)
Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur
in reply to Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur • • •--
I can't realise how much it is hard, it is a unique long journey.
I mean, there are a lot of people in the world that had a journey very similar to mine.
But.
How many got the SAME path ? None
How many feel the same ? A LOT
I am pretty sure that, everything I am writing right know means something to someone.
And will mean something to someone in 2 days or 2 years or 20 years.
Because we all have differents paths that leads here. That's end here for today. And it will ends somewhere else tomorrow, and each day, again and again, and again.
Each journey and/or paths we cross
Each choice we made was entirely different for everyone of us, but the same too. Something made you make that choice. But the questions were the same :
Who am I ?
Do I need this to feel better ?
Can I do this ?
I choose to make this little step maybe to see how I feel about this.
We are unique.
We live an unique way to explore ourselves
We live something totally unique from cis people
But we are all in the same way :
We are transfolks, we live the same kind of journey
We all know what it means for most of us
We all know that the choice we made make the difference.
We all understand what it means for us to choose to do the first step of this path
4/ ?
Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur
in reply to Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur • • •--
Even if we are separated by a road, a mountain or an ocean, we were in the same shitty mental health, and we made the same choice to shine.
And, even if we need to shine to stay strong, or to help others, we are our own journey, because it is a part of our identity
It is not just the new name we choose that appear on the paper
But the whole stuff we fight against.
Because we survive
And all the comments, about the little stuff that make someone happy
Or the big move in their life
Or whatever that bring a little joy for them, it is a way, for me, to read "yesterday I was like you and today I stand here and share my joy"
"Today I am where I did not expect to be"
"Today I am as strong as I was before. Now I know it"
Today, I have no joyful stuff to share
But I know that all of you exist today against a lot of fight, and it means a lot.
When I started my HRT, I couldn't expect having "10 years of HRT"
"I have only a month, how will I make it until 2025 ?"
It was like... a lot of works, about everything.
And when I read all of you, I remember stuffs
And I think "wow, I didn't mean to do that, surviving. But I am already after 10 years of HRT"
I can't espress how I feel about this. It is strong, it is pride, it is fear, and... joy ?
I think I found a little joy to share, after all.
5/5 (end)
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Coutistic / Poupou Transpositeur • • •@poupou24_
I think you very much did. Thank you, my friend. That was really meaningful and thought-provoking. I appreciate your sharing so very much. I had no issues reading your English - small mistakes here and there, mainly using too many plural endings (remember, English adjectives do not have to agree with the nouns they modify - so "small balls", or "large trees".)
Honestly, I think if you spent a few months in an English-speaking place? You'd be really fluent in a short span. All the tools are there, it's just the little stuff now. I know that's not realistic, but that's what I see in you as a potential.
The Human Capybara
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Trans Joy # 1
Just a few days ago I spent the afternoon manly wielding a sledge hammer to destroy my deck.
Trans Joy # 2
I took a shower after wielding above sledge hammer and then went on tidying things up, getting dinner ready...
And I suddenly realized I never bothered to put on a shirt after my shower. I was doing all that topless.
Big hit of gender euphoria discovering my brain fully consider my breast male and not worth covering.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to The Human Capybara • • •@aSweetGentleman
Oh, wow, that must be an AMAZING feeling! That is fabulous. I am so glad you shared that. I love those moments so much. I had one too the other day - I stood unclothed in front of Michael, and the look of lust in his eyes...for me, and my being a woman. I asked him. He said that was what it was.
I have only ever experienced that before once, occasionally, when I was 16. Once occasionally, because it was one set of circumstances, that went on for several months, one night a week. I was an understudy as Magenta at the local Rocky Horror revue show. That's the live people who lip-sync the movie in front of the screen.
My friends there called me nothing but Magentoo (Magenta-two). And they were complimentary. That was nice.
But this, with Michael...his desire for me, naked, nothing but my flesh to say who I am, and he sees nothing but woman. And he lusts for her. For me.
That is an intensely powerful feeling. I am so, so glad he has that for me. It is the largest single affirmation I've ever had.
Vivian, Venus Pirate 🏳️⚧️🧋
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Vivian, Venus Pirate 🏳️⚧️🧋 • • •@Willow
That IS glorious! How awesome. Thank you, Willow! 😀
Nicola Elle 🏳️⚧️
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Meeting up with a couple of trans friends on Friday and enjoying a Steve Hackett concert.
And tomorrow (Monday the 25th) will be an anniversary of sorts, as my transition began 7 years ago!
And all the hugs, and may you find joy in this difficult time. 🫂
#transjoy
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Nicola Elle 🏳️⚧️ • • •@NicolaElle
Wonderful! A concert...I was just thinking this afternoon, I need to find a local club that books Jamaican music. I wanna see some live ska, or reggae, or reggaeton, or something. I need to move my body. And I can never stand still when Jamaican music plays.
Isabel
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •My joy?
Getting to spend as much time as possible with the rather wonderful @Natasha_Jay
We both transitioned later in life, and while I don't regret that as it is those lives that ultimately led to us being together, I would *really* like to be able to claim some of that time back now, please! 💞
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Isabel • • •@IsabelB @Natasha_Jay
Yeah. That's perfectly logical! I hope you two beautiful women get a long and happy time together. You are a gorgeous couple, and your joy is always visible. Thank you!
Mel
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •I finally scheduled what should be my last stage of bottom surgery and am thrilled even though it is six months away. I first had bottom surgery 3.5 years ago and started gender affirming surgeries 5 years ago. So it’s been a long road.
Edit: the specific amazing joy I still get every time I get to stand to pee with my own plumbing. It took 5 surgeries but I can pee in a urinal now. Will be glad when it’s all complete soon!
Cait the Proud Trans Woman reshared this.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Mel • • •@Melezioh
Oooohhhh, dude...that's AWESOME. Oh, you are a brave man, sir. That is a hell of a lot of surgery and recovery, I hope your new gear brings you HUGE joy every time you take a swinging step. 😀
I have one other friend that I know of who's had the same surgeries. He is the happiest trans guy I've ever known, and he attributes that to his choice to have bottom surgery. He has a great tattoo on his forearm scar, too.
Thanks so much for telling me about that! I hope it goes really well for you, and recovery is as easy as it gets. Good luck!
Mel
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Cetraria
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •My joy today is that I asked for a thing.
Most places offer a warranty for their plants, I've never tried to call this in before, even when I really could have. It's just never felt like it's worth the stress and effort before.
Last year, I had a landscaper put in a bunch of plants, almost all of which came through beautifully. A couple crapped out for no clear reason, a couple crapped out due to less-than-ideal care on my part. I don't so much care about the 3 small ones, but one of the "crapped out for no apparent reason" plants was a tree. It's both decently expensive and too big for me to deal with myself, so I contacted the landscaper about the warranty. (Double joy, he's happy to cover it!)
Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Cetraria • • •@Cetraria
Oh, that's great! I'm glad they're being an honest dealer. That is a good find these days. I hope the new tree has more success. 😀
Thanks for sharing! 😀
Faith, Purple haired feminist 🧋
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Sensitive content
How about some trans WTF?
anarres.family/@faithisleaping…
Faith, Purple haired feminist 🧋 :v_tg: :v_lb: :v_greyace: (@faithisleaping@anarres.family)
Faith, Purple haired feminist 🧋 :v_tg: :v_lb: :v_greyace: (Server of the Anarresti)Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Faith, Purple haired feminist 🧋 • • •@faithisleaping
Oh, that's amazing, Faith. I kinda love that for you. Nice way to take the W when it's handed to you. 😀
Sobri | Zoe (she/her)
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Cait the Proud Trans Woman
in reply to Sobri | Zoe (she/her) • • •@cutesobri
Yay mutual aid! That's a good story anyday! I'm so glad you had such a great day. Thanks for sharing, and I hope tomorrow's even better!
lez-anya
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Some recent Disability Joy in my life:
eldritch.cafe/@TheSunnyOne/116…
eldritch.cafe/@TheSunnyOne/116…
eldritch.cafe/@TheSunnyOne/116…
eldritch.cafe/@TheSunnyOne/116…
(I think those are in the correct order! A slightly more thorough breakdown of the good parts of the past week will be posted when I have gathered my spoons)
lez-anya (@TheSunnyOne@eldritch.cafe)
lez-anya (Eldritch Café)muddle
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •I actually find joy in identifying enemies.
I have a mini-list that I wrote down in my notebook earlier. It has three items:
My enemies lie. They lie to me and they lie to themselves.
I double down on my listening just like they double down on their lies.
I am a pufferfish. Good to eat, but you've got to be skilled if you don't want my ideas to incapacitate you.
When I understand my enemies, it's a joyful thing to me.
#NonViolentResistance #Ahimsa
Éléanore
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Hier j'ai croisé ma tante.
Découvrir à quelle point elle* n'est pas cis, et discuter tranquillement toustes les deux était sympa.
On a pu blaguer, se planter, partager. Dans un contexte tout nouveau (famille mais pas cis).
C'était chouette et nouveau, voilà nouveau ça décrit bien.
(Elle* avait vaguement abordé le sujet de son identité à son dernier passage, là on a eu le temps de creuser.)
Elle* a aussi dit de la merde. Mais c'est ma tante, je sais qu'elle* parle trop vite, qu'elle choisis pas ses mots, qu'elle* est fait pas gaffe, etc… dans tous les sujets, donc que c'était pas contre moi. Et ça, forcément, je l'ai pour l'instant avec personne d'autre.
(Peut-être ma cousine lesbienne, médecin généraliste qui accompagne quelques personnes trans, et qui est elle-même lesbienne, mais je viens de lui faire mon coming-out alors j'ai pas eu l'occasion de papoter.)
(*tant que je n'ai pas de consignes d'autre pronoms, je garde "elle", c'est pas un truc important pour elle.)
SecondUniverse (she/her/they)
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Brendan (he/him)
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •zahlenzauber*in
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Jade
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •Lately I’ve noticed that if I only put on mascara and tinted lip balm, no other makeup, I still pass and feel femme.
Perfect for lazy days like this.
Before I had to have eyeliner and even eyeshadow to feel passable.
#TransJoy
Lydia Schoch
in reply to Cait the Proud Trans Woman • • •You might enjoy @joybooster.
Lately I’ve found joy in the SilentSunday hashtag if you don’t already follow it.
Hope things improve for you soon.