Little by little I've been going more and more analog. I still track every little thing I need to do in my #OrgMode system to help manage my #ADHD, but that list itself can get a little overwhelming. I've started combing over it in the morning, picking out the most critical things for that day and writing them down on a paper checklist in a small notebook I keep in my pocket. The notebook has the advantage of not distracting me with a thousand notifications every time I'm trying to do something productive.

Plus, I just really like having an excuse to put a nice #FountainPen and ink to paper.

Edit: slightly less clumsily worded

So, keeping a #journal in #teeline has had some unexpected benefits for my #ADHD brain beyond my handwriting just being more able to keep up with the rate of my thoughts.

I might blog about this later, but the TL;DR is that the process of transcribing my entries requires me to think deliberately about the meaning of every word I've written.

#ActuallyADHD #FountainPens

Fun fact: VPNs stop working when you forget to pay the bill.

#ADHD is fun.

Despite her best efforts, there are still some aspects of #ADHD that my partner struggles to comprehend. She's been trying to learn more where she can. As a result, a lot of ADHD stuff has been cropping up in her YouTube recommendations.

Anyhow, today we watched a video where a comedian was talking about his wife having ADHD. While we didn't expect it to necessarily be educational, we were up for a good laugh. All I can say is that I wonder if this man's wife watches his stand-up routine. If so, how the hell is he still married?

His whole bit was just the guy ragging on his wife and spewing every possible harmful stereotype about ADHD imaginable. I literally wanted to punch the guy in the mouth two minutes in. One of his punchlines was literally "I'd want to cut myself too".

Is this seriously what passes for comedy?

Another fun aspect of #ADHD life:

I made myself a small meal specifically because I had a medication that needed to be taken with food. An hour after eating, I realize I forgot to actually take the medication.

I wish I could say this was a one off, but let's be real, it's not.

So, I've had this recent medical condition that we're trying to get a handle on. Of course, my doctor is pointing to the #ADHD meds I've been on for years without issue as the culprit. I saw that coming from a mile away.

He was unable to suggest an alternative.

Because I have a habit of misplacing things, I have a rule where my glasses are concerned: on my face or in the case.*

This rule does not help me so much when I misplace the case itself.

* This also serves to prevent me from leaving my glasses somewhere that they might be damaged.

#ADHD

So I went into the pharmacy to follow up on the renewal of my #ADHD meds. Turns out this new doctor did in fact respond to the fax requesting the renewal but specifically specified not to fill it until the literal day I was supposed to run out.

Fortunately, I occasionally forget to take them, so I have a few spares, but God damn this guy doesn't understand how ADHD works.

My #ADHD moment of the day:

Eat a snack specifically because I have a medication that needs to be taken with food.

Forget to actually take the medication.

Another question in the "is it just #ADHD or is there some #ASD in there too" series:

I've recently learned that some people with autism have a tendency to repeat back phrases verbatim when people talk to them before answering.

I do not think this happens to me (at least not with words I hear) but I do have a tendency to do this with written text, stuff on billboards when we're driving, that sort of thing.

I have no idea why I do this. It's not like it's everything I see either. It's just sort of a compulsion that occasionally strikes for no apparent reason. Is that a thing that makes sense to anyone, or is it just me? I guess I just write it off as a weird thing my mind does when it wanders.

I've known I have #ADHD since I was first diagnosed in high school, but sometimes I wonder if perhaps I might be somewhere on the #autism spectrum as well. Let me explain a thing that's going on right now to illustrate what I mean.

I have a canvas messenger bag. I've had it for years and love it. I keep my whole life organized in this bag. Everything has a place and I know exactly where everything is. Recently, one of the snaps that holds it closed gave out. Within a couple of days the second one went as well, so the bag just falls open, which is fine if I keep it upright, but is kind of a pain in the ass.

The place I got it from essentially has a lifetime guarantee. I'm sure I can trade it in for another "equivalent" bag, but I'm sure they won't have this exact one since it's been several years since I bought it. This causes me an enormous amount of anxiety, because the new bag will be different, and I won't just instinctively know where all its contents are (because the configuration of the internal pockets will likely be at least a little different). It's not just the act of replacing the bag, but knowing that it'll mess me up for weeks afterward too.

I feel like this dilemma could possibly be explained by ADHD alone, but I kind of wonder...

Does this resonate with anyone in the #ActuallyAutistic crowd? I am of course not looking for a formal diagnosis or anything. It's more of a curiosity.

Well, booked my first appointment with the new doctor today. Haven't had my records transferred because I don't have $200 just sitting around for the digitization fee at the moment. Hopefully he'll be willing to renew my #ADHD meds using the previous prescripiton bottles as sufficient evidence of their necessity. I really don't want to jump through those hoops again.

It's not like I'll die without them or anything, but my life will get a lot harder.

A while ago I asked a question of the #ActuallyAutistic and #ADHD communities on my old Fosstodon account and got some pretty good feedback, so now that I'm back in my regular fedi home, I figured I'd do so again (as before, boosts welcome).

I find that when something is stressing me out, I'll obsess over it until I've either solved the problem or it overwhelms me to a point where I need to completely disengage (at least for a time). Often when this happens, loved ones will notice my distress and try to help in the form of asking questions or making suggestions. The problem is that if I'm in problem-solving mode it derails my train of thought, and if I'm in "disengage" mode it prevents me from... well, disengaging.

This frequently results in me responding in ways that are... unpleasant for all persons involved. I've identified this as a problem and am trying to find better ways of handling such situations, but it's easier said than done. Has anyone else experienced this? Are there any good strategies for dealing with it?