@actuallyautistic
A couple of posts today made me think about the connection between masking and imposter syndrome, especially for those of us who have realised late that we are autistic. I have long believed that there are essentially two aspects to the way that we masked. Masking ourselves from the world and masking ourselves from ourselves and that both of these contributed to being able to stay below the radar of realising what we were for so long. But, perhaps, the most important one, was not the face we showed the world, mostly because I doubt if that was ever as good as we thought it was, but the mirror we learnt to see ourselves in.
That internal masking of ourselves can take many forms.
I thought it was just me.
But, everyone does it this way.
No one else is bothered, or even seems to be noticing. I must be just imagining it, or too sensitive. It can't be real.
I've tried talking about it, but no one took me seriously, they thought I was joking. It's obviously just me. I really must be broken, or mad.
I can't see myself anywhere, I can't be right.
I can't be this way, no one else is.
I must be wrong.
And so much else...
So much of it is denial and disbelieve, as much as anything, and it doesn't go away once we begin to realise the truth. It doesn't magically lose its power. It has to be faced and defeated as a deliberate act of de-masking, that, perhaps, never really ends, because we've carried and tended to it for too long. And, all the time, it is a voice of doubt and so-called reason in our minds that can fuel our imposter syndrome. That can make us doubt our journey, our revelations, our truth. Because that was always its job. It is the reason we created it. To mask ourselves from the truth. Because, it wasn't the truth we saw, or were able to accept.
This isn't to say, by any means, that it is the only bone our imposter syndrome will chew on. But, for those of us who are late realising our truth, it is perhaps a particularly meaty one. Because it has been with us for so long, our only answer to the darkness we lived in and the only world we could see.
#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic
Octavia Con Amore Succubard's Library
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Filtered word: nsfw
Kevin Davy
in reply to Octavia Con Amore Succubard's Library • • •I never really saw it pop up in the Guppe groups I followed, but as you said, it would rather depend upon their definition.
Nick
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Kevin Davy
in reply to Nick • • •I don't I'm afraid. I followed it some time ago, although it's never been very big. It might be somewhere on the home page I linked in.
Samantha Rose 🌹
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Kevin Davy
in reply to Samantha Rose 🌹 • • •Filtered word: nsfw
Probably why they don't allow nsfw material. Also, as all they do is boost, more or less, I'm not sure they would come under it.
pockets
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Sensitive content
Here's the info I was able to find, if anyone else is looking for more information about what happened. And if anyone else has any further information, I'd like to see it.
github.com/immers-space/guppe/…
Guppe is dead?
mattcoxonline (GitHub)Kevin Davy
in reply to pockets • • •The conversation has gone a bit further than the one I saw. So hopefully he might be trying a way to revitalise it.
EaterOfSnacks
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Kevin Davy
in reply to EaterOfSnacks • • •Indeed. Whilst it wasn't everyone's cup of tea, it was a valuable service.
EaterOfSnacks
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Kevin Davy
in reply to EaterOfSnacks • • •V'ger
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Kevin Davy
Unknown parent • • •On the actually autistic profile page, the admin is given as datatitian@social.coop Deliberately missed out the initial @ so as not to link him in.
Seán Fenian
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Kevin Davy
in reply to Seán Fenian • • •Standard corporate greed. Don't care about the damage they might be doing, as long as they can make more money.
Kevin Davy
Unknown parent • • •I've only seen talk about the domain, so I would assume the servers are still going.
Uniflame
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Kevin Davy
in reply to Uniflame • • •As in @actuallyautistic They basically acted as boosts for your posts to all those who followed them. It had slightly better range than the hashtags, which tend to be a bit more organic in how they spread.
Uniflame
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Nick
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •@Uniflame
I'd suggest people don't mention the @ actuallyautistic@a.gup.pe group in full.
It's no longer forwarding posts and we don't currently know what happens to posts sent to the former group addresses. They could be collecting them for some nefarious purpose.
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Douglas Edwards
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •Kevin Davy
in reply to Douglas Edwards • • •I'm afraid not.
Jonathan Lamothe
in reply to Douglas Edwards • •@Douglas Edwards @Actually Autistics @Kevin Davy According to the WHOIS database:
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Unknown parent • • •