@autistics

Dear non-autistic folk, AKA (also known as) allistic's. It's that time of the year again. Autism awareness month. That time when you can become aware of autistic's, raise some money and generally show your worth by acknowledging, if nothing else, our existence. Good on you. Although, I suppose it may come as a bit of a shock to know that we don't actually want awareness.

Awareness can and has been historically, "look at their difference," closely followed by "stone them, burn them, they're a witch". Or, being left to die alone in the woods, because they think that you are a changeling and have taken their beloved child. Or simply hearing someone telling a parent, or carer, "Oh, look at them, they are so special. That must be so hard for you, looking after them, I couldn't possibly do that". Or from someone, "but you don't look autistic, I know what autism looks like" and dying a little more inside. Not to mention, in this day and age especially, that we often have minds that see the patterns of the future writ large upon the wall in blood and knowing it will be our blood if the wrong people are only just aware of us and want to use that politically.

So no, we don't want awareness. Awareness is, at best, thinking that you know us, that you can see us. Awareness is feeling good about acknowledging our existence, not our lives. What we want and need is understanding. Understanding that we are different, not less than, or greater. That our minds and senses and bodies work differently to yours. That we have different needs and abilities and challenges. That the world you have made, is, in so many ways, difficult, if not impossible for us and that it is the reason why we so often struggle, or can't cope and not because we are deficient in some way. That we are not missing something (which is why most of us hate the puzzle symbol), or broken, or anything other than just different.

A difference that can't be seen from the outside looking in. By studying us from your point of view, or judging us by your standards. It has to be explained and understood by us telling and showing you. By us sharing our experiences, and knowledge and understanding. By working with us and not in spite of us. Because as minorities have called for throughout the ages, there should be nothing about us, without us, not if you want anything to be in any way meaningful, or true.

Only by truly understanding this. By learning to listen and value our opinions and stories, will you begin to understand and finally grow into where we really need you to be. Accepting us and not just aware of us. Accepting us truly as we are, in all our variety and complexity and not just thinking that you do. So enough of awareness month. Perhaps aim for something better.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic
#Audhd

5 Steps to a great day:

1. Go camping
2. Avoid people
3. Take a nap
4. Poke a campfire with a stick
5. Keep avoiding people